Adjusting To Change
Change, no matter how positive, is still scary. The idea of not knowing what will happen, even if we know it’ll make our life better, causes us panic and anxiety.
The last post discussed the idea of embracing anxiety. That to know it, we must first embrace it. This same idea needs to be addressed with the thought of change. If we choose to change our mindset, then the idea of change doesn’t appear as scary.
Everything is temporary.
As much as we would like everything to stay the same, it cannot. This is the curse and blessing of life. If we approach everything with the idea of it changing, then we don’t try to be comfortable with how it is. We approach things as they are and not what we wish or would like them to be.
Change is anxiety.
Anxiety is there to push us to “pay attention.” If we are changing then we must pay attention to adapt. Having anxiety with this idea seems important and appropriate instead of ineffective.
Change is problem solving.
Instead of complaining or wishing for something to be different, we must approach it with the idea of how to work with what you have.
Cognitive-Behavioral Approach.
Focusing on the CBT way of change can allow us to explore our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors surrounding something that must change. Start with making a list of all the different thoughts you have, all the feelings the change produces, and the behaviors (whether irrational or rational) surrounding this change. Sometimes circling the things that seem more rational, healthy, or productive can allow us to process what’s appropriate but also give us an outlet by writing it down even if it isn’t.
Cost-Benefit Analysis.
This process is helpful when contemplating change. Create a big cross in the middle of your paper. The first square is what benefits you for keeping the change. The second square next to it is what you don’t benefit from changing. The bottom square is the idea of if you don’t change what benefits you and the last square is what you don’t benefit by not changing. This is a more elaborated pros/cons list to work with what encompasses the change and not changing.
Balance is the key to all change. If we remain intentional with the idea of balancing what is working and working on what is not, the “out of control” feeling doesn’t feel so intense. We can fall back on what is working so that the change of what needs to be worked on can be in our forefront.
Let’s make the balance the adaptation to change.
