For the Love of You and Self-Care
In therapy, therapists preach about self-care. This may sound easy but it is actually quite difficult to practice if you are not used to productive and healthy self-care activities. I state this is a PRACTICE because it is. Your self-care should be ever-evolving and changing as you are. If you are not changing your self-care routines to fit where you are growing and progressing, the self-care will seem incomplete and not enough.
Before I get into self-care, I want to hit home the idea that self-care is something we need consistently, not only when we are not feeling well. In fact, I feel self-care is more important in the times when we are doing well. If we are doing well, the importance and focus are to keep maintaining so that it continues to feel this way. If we stop doing what is making us feel well we become vulnerable and when things such as stress, chaos, or problems happen (which they always do), they tend to hit us harder because we haven’t been practicing the self-care that created our foundation to continues to make us strong and resilient. Now, I’m not saying that picking up a self-care routine is not effective when we are feeling unwell, but we are now in a constant state of “catch-up” to build up the routine again which makes us feel like we are behind and this only perpetuates the cycles of anxiety and shame.
So what is self-care? I like to define it as a way of taking care of yourself but also provides the standard for self-respect. If we take care of ourselves we tend to show ourselves and the world/people what we respect and this sets the standard of how others should treat us. Self-care is usually basic and simple practice because you don’t want them to cause friction. The more friction we have in completing something, the less likely we are to continue them.
Self-care doesn’t always feel good. I know this doesn’t make sense but sometimes we have to do things that we know are painful in the short-term but in the long-term benefit us greatly.
Here are some basic things that need to be addressed when you are thinking about creating a self-care practice:
Grooming
Hygiene (showering, baths, brushing your teeth, flossing, washing your hands, face masks)
Planning a morning routine
Wearing clothes that make you feel confident
Washing your face (using face wash, moisturizers, day creams)
Wearing something that makes you feel confident (make-up, cologne, perfume, hairstyling products, hairstyles, jewelry)
Making your bed
Organizing clutter
Reading about passions or interests that create mental stimulation
Eating (breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner) consistently
Food choices (healthy options, healthy fats, low and healthy carbs, low sugar, less processed choices)
Meal prepping or planning
Cleaning up after yourself
Enjoy passions and activities that cause you to become mindful and present
Writing and journaling
Exercise and/or activity
Giving yourself a space to think and reflect
Giving yourself the time to think and reflect
Planning your intention and/or to-do list for the day
Meditation
Organizing your workspace
Organizing your car
Taking time to step away from your workspace to walk around and reset
Listening to podcasts and/or audiobooks that promote your goals
Setting timers and limits on apps in your phone to prevent mindless scrolling
Making plans for time-off with friends/family
Budgeting
Setting financial goals
Saving money for things of value
Making time and space to enjoy the company of others
Setting timers and limits when watching TV shows to avoid mindless watching
Creating an atmosphere to promote relaxation (essential oil diffusers, music, lighting, visual stimulation, temperature)
Making a meal that is healthy but requires you to try something new
Connecting with others (texting, phone calls, sharing goals, sharing future dreams, reflecting on our days together)
Cleaning your spaces
Creating a space that promotes healthy sleep hygiene (low lighting, no electronics, temperature)
Planning the night before (setting to-do lists, alarms, clothes, meals)
Creating a nightly routine
Drink water
Giving yourself space to feel and sit with emotions (positive or negative)
I know this list seems long and no, you don’t have to do all these things. But, I’d suggest at least choosing 1 a week and focusing on that self-care item. You’ll be amazed at the changes, especially with something quite small. Then, I’d encourage you to keep that one self-care task and add another with the next week.
Remember: this is for YOU. Self-care is about creating self-respect, making yourself a priority, and treating yourself well so that others learn to do the same.
