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We are caught up in this cycle that the idea of collecting, spending, and getting more things into our lives will ultimately make us happy. We get sucked into this idea that this new thing will solve all our issues and create happiness. What we end up doing is accumulating things and finding different ways of storing them. This creates more clutter which we then try to find ways of organizing it only to find that we are anxious and unhappy once again.

My intention this year was to work on decluttering and starting off with different rooms in my home. I want to purge the things I no longer use and organize the stuff that I need or do use for later. I also wanted to intentionally clear the “clutter” in my mind, brain, and soul. What we don’t realize is the “stuff” we have around our home is actually making us anxious and causing us to feel unhappy. So with the idea of decluttering, we have to purge the things we no longer use but hold on to. This is not an easy task for many, me included.

We create attachments to things. We may even create memories with things which then makes them “sentimental” and we hold on to it thinking that it will bring us closer to the memory, person, or happiness we once felt. Now don’t get me wrong, some objects, creations, and things do provide this but do we actually set intentional, quality time to acknowledge the object/thing to bring up the memory or feeling, or do we store it in a box on the top shelf of our closets? The ladder seems more consistent. What we are really doing by storing these “sentimental” items away is actually furthering the attachment and making our memory with them more conditional on the item and not actually enjoying the item and what it represents.

There is a process of decluttering and purging that I think we don’t do enough which is acknowledging the things and why we originally bought them and why we created an attachment with them in the first place. Now if I bought weights with the intention of working out with them and I do use them, then this wouldn’t be an item that needed purging. This item brings me fulfillment and happiness when I use it. Now, if they were sitting on a shelf and I pull them out for random times, am I sitting with this intention that I made a commitment to “work out” but I’m no longer making that promise to myself? No. We think that if we buy different weights or a different working out “system” we will be happy because we are avoiding the feelings that we let ourselves down. That we didn’t complete the commitment and think that buying more things will somehow rectify this or cause us motivation, only to be dissatisfied again.

There are many different methods with decluttering systems and ideas and many different books and programs to help us with this. All are great and some I highly recommend to my patients but I encourage you to work on sitting with these feelings when we hold an attachment and want to keep things because “we might use them later” or “it means something to me”. Reflect on the idea, prior commitments, and promises we originally had when we bought the item and is it being used for its full potential, or is it sitting out in the open, in a box, or stored away and when we see it, it invokes guilt, shame, and anxiety because we are not using it? This thing/object could be representing your “ideal self” and what you want to be and yes, it can help you get closer to that, but are you actually using it for that?

This will be a painful process. We are learning to hold on to things that bring us joy, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and learning to let go of things that no longer serve us, bring us feelings of discontentment, or shame for not being fulfilled by this item. We are also sitting with our lack of completion with things, the wishes, promises, and lost commitments to ourselves and others. This reflection will hopefully provide you with inspiration and movement to either go with the commitment to the thing/promise or to let go and move on.

If you do decide to go with the commitment once again, great!

Here are some helpful books and prior blog posts to help you stay disciplined:

Book Recommendations:

Atomic Habits by James Clear

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

Spark Joy by Marie Kondo

The Home Edit by Chea Shearer and Joanna Teplin

Prior Blog Posts by Mindful Digest:

Creating Discipline with Perseverance

Creating Discipline with Motivation