Where is your head?
We are our own worst enemy. We become so overwhelmed by where the change in our lives needs to be created that when we sit down to think of logistics it all, it seems daunting and impossible.
One of the first things I always address in any therapy session is, where is your head? I’m talking about all those internal thoughts, that self-talk, your inner dialogue. We have such amazing abilities, ideas, and motivation but if our thoughts are not on the same page or at least in the same direction, we will self-sabotage like crazy.
This quote is exactly what we need to start with. You have to work with what you got and not work on what we don’t have yet. Plus, we cannot change ANYTHING until we become aware of it. So before you go into “I want to change my self-talk”, let’s first become aware of our self-talk.
Here are some thoughts to notice:
What do you say to yourself when you wake up first thing in the morning?
When you look at yourself in the mirror throughout the day, what are your first thoughts?
When you are about to leave the house, what are your thoughts?
When you get to a destination, what are your thoughts?
Let’s Brainstorm:
Just notice these thoughts, don’t try to change anything right away.
When it comes to change, you have to start someplace simple and easy before going to something challenging. You have to first be aware and notice how a simple change affects you before moving into something more complicated.
It is natural to go: “that’s negative” or “that’s bad.” I don’t even want you to go there.
This creates the idea that your thoughts are “good” or “bad.” Thoughts are thoughts. They are nothing but thoughts. Labeling only creates shame and this only leads to more negativity. Instead, say; “what would I like to say to myself?”
Of course, we want to go uber-positive but then the next step is: “Is this realistic for you RIGHT NOW?”
Sometimes, realistic self-talk change is saying something neutral. “This is dress is nice” not “I hate this dress on me” or “I want to be thinner for this dress” etc.
Journaling is always a great start with just becoming aware of the self-talk.
With every person I meet who wants to create any type of change, start with one thing, identify one simple change, write the change down, and advance and/or elaborate from there. The advancement could be: “what is one actionable thing I can do today for this change?” Or “what barriers may come up today that may cause a challenge?”
Sometimes the idea of “go big or go home” isn’t always sustainable.
With the start of the new year and those resolutions, sustainability is the key to creating something that lasts all year.
For our intention, this week let’s just notice our thoughts and see what happens. If you need some guidance in creating change, I’m here!
Don’t be afraid to post your comments, your progress, or any questions you have! Let’s be balanced together.
