Challenging Cognitive Dissonance with Core Values

Understanding your core values is very important and one thing that I don’t think enough people put enough attention and time to. 

Anyone who is struggling with self-identity issues, the relationship with yourself, not knowing how to make decisions or knowing what the best decision is for you, or struggling with a decision that doesn’t “feel right,” I will immediately have this individual explore their core values. 

This exploration is not an easy task and requires a lot of attention to what they feel and what is important to them. 

I use this digital tool, which is a core values evaluation test, as a way of identifying their 5 core values.

Here is the link for you to evaluate your own core values and it’s free: Core Values Test

(I don’t have an affiliation with this link/website). 

Once someone establishes their core values, for someone struggling with self-identity and relationship with themselves, I will ask them to write down what they do on a “normal” day. I have them start by waking up in the morning to right before they fall asleep. 

Once they complete this, I have them ask themselves if their daily habits/practices match, enhance, conflict, or contradict any of their core values? 

For example, if someone’s core value is health but they don’t exercise or think about their nutrition, don’t sleep well, and doesn’t attend their medical appointments, do you think they are living out their core value?

The person might say that this is important to them and say they want to value their health but are their actions supporting this? 

I believe this state that we are putting ourselves in by not living out our core values is another type of cognitive dissonance. 

Cognitive dissonance is defined as “the mental conflict that occurs when a person's behaviors and beliefs do not align.” 

People describe a state of cognitive dissonance as discomfort, anxiety, and stress. 

So if we take the individual who values health but whose behavior doesn’t support this belief, it could be creating a sense of discomfort and stress for this individual because they are not living out or acting on their beliefs. 

This is where actions speak louder than words come into play. Usually, this individual will want to be a person who exercises daily and meal plans but will have every excuse in the book as to why they don’t actively do this. 

Now that we understand the importance of living our core values, how do we strive to do this?

We first have to identify how we live out our current values and what we want to improve or continue with these.

Is there something we are not pursuing that is part of our core values and because we are not pursuing this, does it give us grief and anxiety?

With the values that we are currently not living, are their habits and patterns that either contradict this value or place a barrier to living out this value?

What can we change or improve in order to move closer to this value?

I’d suggest making small weekly and monthly goals and focusing on one value at a time. It is up to you if you want to focus on a value that you are already living to and make goals to improve this or pick a value that needs more attention. 

I’d also suggest writing these goals into a planner, calendar, journal, or schedule so that you are reminded of what you are focusing on. I’d make the goals small and achievable for you so that you can see the progress. 

After doing this for at least one month, reevaluate how you have been feeling and if you notice any improvement in your discomfort, stress, or anxiety.